It’s time for another round of “Look At This Celebrity Before They Were Famous.” It’s my favorite game to play, because seeing what famous people were like before they fell into a pool of money and skin cream makes me feel better about myself. Plus, it’s always fun to see dated hairstyles and facial hair, whether or not the people sporting them later became household names. Today’s “Before They Were Famous” subject is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who took to Instagram for Throwback Thursday yesterday to share a photo of himself before he was “The Rock,” at age 16. And boy is it a doozy.
That can’t be a high school student. That is the 40-year-old high school football coach. Or an undercover cop, which is apparently what the kids at all his schools (four of them around the country) thought he was. According to Dwayne, however, there were no 21 Jump Street shenanigans afoot. He was just a very middle-aged-looking teenager. Here’s what he captioned the photo:
#TBT By the time I was 16 yrs old, I had already enrolled in four high schools across the country due to being evicted and lil’ trouble with the law.. McKinley HS (Honolulu, HI), Glencliff HS (Nashville, TN), McGavock HS (Nashville, TN), Freedom HS (Bethlehem, PA). I was also 6’4 225lbs, rockin’ a dead caterpillar on my lip (aka the porn ‘stache) and all the kids in every high school thought I was an undercover cop cause I looked like a mutated, yet handsome SOB of a man child. Plus in Nashville I was already hangin’ out in honey tonk dive bars on Music Row and hustlin’ cars from crackheads. Yup, one of the many reasons why I’m a grateful man for the life I have today and also grateful I straight up kicked puberty’s ass early in life. #GodBlessSamoanAndBlackGenetics #AndGodBlessOurTeenageYears #AndWTFWasIThinkingWithThisMustache
Dwayne Johnson, “a mutated, yet handsome SOB of a man child.” I’m going to try to work that phrase into conversation at least once a day from now on. Don’t ask me how I’ll do it, but I will.
A lot of people online are saying he looks the same as he does now, just with an added unfortunate mustache. That’s true, but unlike other celebrities who have just looked like teenagers for decades, Dwayne has apparently looked like a 43-year-old man for decades, and his real age has finally caught up to it. But hey, at least his appearance waited up for him. It would suck if he now looked 70.